Get all 23 Lex Rush releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of ANDILIKEIT (Bars remix), The Best Is Over, Bars for Bars' Sake, When It's All Said and Done, 2022 TV Rap Recap, Right Now (with Jam Young and P. Cruz), Mad Max Martin Bars, Not Gonna Be You (It's Gonna Be ME), and 15 more.
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Now it's all over, before it began
Where did the end begin?
I don't understand
Can't sleep need the weed gummies
Rem cycle Michael Stipe repeat
Sopranos screen, scenes buzzing
And when I dream, they eat at me
Monstrous and vivid, Hearing fiends scream
Hauntin' wicked
Anxious every minute
So I write an ill page/Ell Paige when ideas incepting
When did I become a cynic?
I don't fear death, just fear commitment
How am I my biggest fan, and also my biggest critic
All these dichotomies, suck life right outta me
Used to live wild and free
Now I embody my most hated qualities
Scrambled to the top of my climb
Now I just feel like my peak is behind
It's clear it's over
Did I miss the good times?
I ain't show up on time
your perspective or mine?
Please share if you're inclined
Nostalgia, man it's only kind just to a few
I do the most, but just won't improve
My room is a zoo, copped the containers
Boxed up the mess but couldn't contain it
Life feeling spaded, yes I attained, I couldn't change it
Mirage suite stream fear and loathing in Vegas
We've been rigged since the rip, for they entertainment
Don't tattoo my name, my legacy my get tainted
It's clear it's over
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4. |
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They say a broken clock is right twice a day
So I’m hoping that I focus on the right thing to say
And hoping that you’d stay, babe it’s cold outside
We can ski a little, chair lifted and let’s ride
Please just stay inside, then let’s sniff a bit
Even when we intimate, I can’t get intimate
I’m into it but can’t get into it
Use your intuitiveness, you not reading through my movements and ticks
I know I’m a bad person;
at least I did bad things but I want you in the worst way
Won’t hear through hearsay, I don’t show affection
I don’t show affection cuz I try to use discretion
Are you second guessing, how we maneuver?
What the fuck we doing? I see you in my future
But you had plans with Lori Harvey while I woke up in Bugattis
You think I’m ice solid but I’m melting like Dali’s
When the Time is Right, the Wine is Right
More sips and I’m about to slip
And lose my self control
Keep a place for me, it’s nothing I’ll sleep between ya’ll
-Nights like this I can’t help but think of us
Speakers playing unrequited love songs but I aint’ speaking up
Saying it is hard as fuck, realest shit to do
To tell you the truth, I’d upend my whole life for you
But you don’t feel just like I do, it’s cool, I been on that side too
I played games, left you on red, like my set Piru
Both did wrong, you ain’t me lead me on
It takes two to tango and we been forbidden
I knew what it was so there’s no one to blame
For our friendship let’s avenge it and play the end game
Maintain or change, for real make it work
Never felt like a side dish more like dessert
But the aftermath is truth hurts
Feeling malnutrition, was I given sweet snacks and short term commitment
When the time is right, the wine is right
Feelings' a tough thing to digest, it's a slow process, and I ain't got nothing but time
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5. |
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No time for trauma
It'ss apocalypse now I’m clockin in at the office
Spend my last days in a conference
-Awesome-
Talking bout DEI while killer cops order up coffins
Awful, send a message corporate
Put up a black square our condolences and prayers,
Yeah, til the next racist
We play nothing was the same but nothing ever really changes
Log in – it’s your only option
No stopping – you ain’t got no options
Show up – what hell the point of this all
Oh fuck – no time to tell really what I want…
They say just save your paychecks
how my wages stay the same while inflation– inflating
Taxes for my work it’s draining
Insurance for my health
it don’t cover what’s preventative so take care of yourself
Degrees will make you melt
Melt in student debt
Don’t waste money on school
But that low wage stay in debt
Then increase the rent, forcibly evict
We were just celebrating COVID deals and stimmy checks – huh?
Massacre on massacre
Disease and destruction
Distraction on distraction
A weakness and a function
Everyday its something
Still I gotta punch in
And look out the window while my right to choose gets done in
Gotta make this money if I gotta raise these kids
Then I gotta buy them vests to protect them at pop quiz
It is what it is in our world of hypocrites
Hold up I gotta see HR bout whyI'm getting blitzed
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6. |
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Boom box blasting
Ruff Ryders anthem
Home was the school yard felt like a mansion
Grandma mad late, made us always wait
Shoe shopping all day but copping the Entenmann’s cake (triple time)
High stakes, held our own squid games
Played suicide, man hunt, race with the slick blades
Shit’s great, least it felt at the time
Snick was All That, showcasing left eye with the rhymes
Homies had the slime language YSL
Had to be drenched in green to keep it real
But I couldn’t sit still, not for a moment
Now I think back, was the time all that I hoped for?
Is this everything I remember?
Are we everything we remember?
Am I everything?
Are you everything I remember?
Am I everything you remember?
Are we everything we need?
I was a latchkey kid -- trying to just tap in
Had a van chased me down around right where I lived
I knew where to hid, never said nathan
AIM Chat Rooms -- with age sex location
Cyber exploration -- OG catfish
Kissed IRL but could type out orgasms
Secret life of Alex, step to the challenge of
Corner Store -- scrap, shank, slashing
Couldn’t be passive – cliques got me stressing
JV basketball, the coach fucking benched me
Didn’t know my fam was on anti depressants
Identity crisis -- anxious – restless
Maybe I’m doing too many drugs
Maybe I’m living too passive
Think it’s all good to brush off
Think I rock the rose colored glasses
(what’s so bad about, bad about it; forgetting shit’s bliss, laugh about it
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7. |
Unconditional
02:30
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No matter how they condition you
The love is unconditional
The feelings might be physical
But you're always in my heart
It's just like from the start
You're my problematic fave
I just wanna see your face
Just when I thought I was sociopathic apathetic
ya presence got me emphatic, empathetic in seconds
I feel so connected, I feel so protected
I really feel for what you go through
Just wanna see the world be good to you
We go back in the past before I got fucking jaded
When I was wide eyed and thought for sure man that I would make it
Your love it never waivered
Now it's weight keep me anchored
I get so hectic and so caught up
Forget that you're what's most important
I'm just worn out bombarded - always performing!
When chaos continues, it's not happenstance
I wanna be with you, and watch what happens next
With you I'm happiest, let's see what happens next
They say that what you want ain't always what you need
And since you been gone shit I just felt relief
Like Whitney I will always love you but it sucks I couldn't trust you, everyday with you became an
everyday struggle
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8. |
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When it's all said and done
What you wanna be, who you wanna see, wanna be
When it's all said and done
Where you wanna, who you wanna see, will it be me?
Will i regret never saying that I love you?
I wish I could twist and flip it to a fuck you.
Then my heart wouldn’t split six ways
Like a lovers card embodying its number in a fray
And they never touched again not once on a page
Cause written in the margin is an indent once erased
Of how i really feel and how these words would really taste
If I brought them out the heart to your arms open aim
Where you could crush em til I cry or hug em to your face
Where you could crush em til I die that’s my fate either way
Mac said what’s the use
There’s no absolute truths
So I shoot Absolut, stoop down for the loot
Do what I do cuz it’s suit my pursuit
When you take off your suit who you coming home to?
How they view you when you come through?
When it’s all through can you live with your moves?
Sit still in your shoes?
Deal with your moods?
Eat that raw food?
Who are you?
Every decision has effect and a cause
At the end of the day you alone with it all
I’m not capable of change but I’m capable of growth
I don’t know what I want but I grab it by the throat
and we choking on hope
cause our eyes dream-distorted when we biting our approach
in the boat battered waves that we swallowed when we soaked
heavy every stroke as our soul stay afloat
How they view you when you come through?
When it’s all through can you live with your moves?
Sit still in your shoes?
Deal with your moods?
Eat that raw food?
Who are you?
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Lex Rush New York, New York
Lex Rush is a hip-hop recording artist, songwriter and freestyle rap champion from Queens, NY. She has been a mainstay of multiple New York live hip-hop series, including Freestyle Mondays and Supreme BARS, and was dubbed "The First Lady of Freestyle Rap" by The Village Voice. Lex has battled rapped on MTV and was featured on Spectrum News1. ... more
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